A Position On Smacking

Presented to The British Psychological Society
Division of Clinical Psychology AGM 1997

ELEVEN Reasons NOT to smack children:

It doesn't work.
Smacking does the reverse, it encourages (reinforces) the very behaviour we wish to stop.
REMEMBER: behaviour you pay attention to increases in the long term.
Smacking says: "I don’t like you".
A smack demonstrates anger and unpredictability which in turn feeds anxiety in children.
Those who smack sets a wrong example and they become inappropriate role models.
Punishments build resentment in the child.
Smacking creates conflict, the child will reason: "If an adult hits me - why can't I hit others?"
Smacking and aggression promote low self-esteem and can destroy confidence - sometimes into adulthood.
Aggression increases feelings of guilt in children. Most children feel responsible for their parents' problems. Many do even as adults.
There is a much better way of managing children.

The only way to present a case for "no smacking" is to offer a case for careful and consistent 'other' management strategies.

ADVANTAGES of using consistent, non-aversive management

Children become happier and occupy themselves better.
The family becomes happier due to reduced conflict.
Children learn not to use disruptive behaviour to express feelings and become more adept at verbal communication.
Family relationships improve due to better communication less ill feeling, less resentment and less arguments.
Reduced potential for guilt for adults and children.
Children learn to trust.
Children and adults listen and understand more.
Children experience reduced anxiety and increased general confidence due to the increased predictability and confidence in their parents.

DISADVANTAGES of using unpredictable or aggressive management.

Without consistent limits, a child might become selfish and have problems that do not show until it is too late to do something about it.
Children are less likely to develop self-control and will not automatically respect their elders, without early parental control.
If children see, for example, their mother being submissive to an aggressive father, what will they understand from this? Are we training children to be disrespectful?

SUMMARY OF IMPORTANT POINTS TO NOTE

We know children need guidance and consistent rules to develop into healthy adults.

Anger, unpredictability, hitting and aggression increase anxiety and contribute greatly to how children perceive the world. These can have long term consequences.

Predictability gives security to the child and reduces anxiety.

We know that behaviourally, adults condition children constantly by their actions - usually randomly due to ignorance - often opposite to how it should be.

We should learn to help children systematically and consistently.

It is likely that if you smack regularly, communication will not be a strong quality in the family. Even if we use it rarely, then life becomes variable, less predictable and more anxiety provoking for children.

Remember the principle: "behaviour we pay attention to, increases".

My book - SUPERKIDS: Practical Child Management - Tells you the following.

Superkids, the book explains why rules are necessary but demonstrates how we typically programme children to misbehave.

It looks at all the usual methods we use to control children that tend to programme the child to do the opposite to what we expect.

I also give reasons why the methods do not work - relating to simple learning theory where possible.

The book discusses measurement and timing but I ask adults not to believe any expert without checking for themselves. I suggest how to evaluate, usually over a two-month period.

The book offers clear instruction on how to manage young children.

I show how my way differs from what they have tried before or experienced themselves in childhood, because the timing is critical and because of the positive aspects which are integrated into the system.

WARNING:

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